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We’ve all wanted to change things about the stories we read. Here’s how CBD would have affected some of the world’s most beloved novels!
By: Jacob La Cava
Everyone has a favorite novel, and whether it’s one that you read as a child or one that was assigned to you in college, it had such a profound effect on you that its contents have been permanently seared into your memory. Some novels can have such a strong impact on you that they help shape your very personality, as well as dictate what other forms of literature and pop culture you take to.
Part of the fun of a novel is what your own imagination brings to it. We can all think of a few stories that would have benefited greatly from having a different ending. What if Atticus had won his case in To Kill A Mockingbird? Or if Charlie Bucket hadn’t found the final golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? We’ve certainly all considered the monumental good that would have come from NOT giving that mouse a cookie – a mistake that many consider to be the greatest literary folly of our generation.
What if CBD had been involved in some of these famous stories? Here are some of the ways in which CBDfx products could have impacted classic novels:
There’s no doubt that you were told to read this novel by at least one of your English teachers growing up. A critique on the socio-economic state of the world, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel highlights the differences and similarities between those belonging to the “old money” and “new money” classes of rich people, as well as the power struggle that exists between them. Jay Gatsby represents new money, and is arguably portrayed as the “hero” of the novel up until his untimely death. Realistically, no one is the hero of this story, and Gatsby’s death can easily be blamed on his obsession with Daisy, the narrator’s cousin.
What if Gatsby hadn’t been so unbearably obsessed with Daisy? After all, they part ways initially because of his lack of money, which should have been all that Gatsby needed to see before realizing that she simply wasn’t worth the effort. Instead, once he had achieved his status as a new money icon, he should have dedicated himself to other ventures, such as CBD! Gatsby’s interests were largely focused on enhancing his overall lifestyle, and he would have gotten to experience real functional lifestyle benefits if he’d tried CBDfx tinctures! Plus, since he loved parties full of drinking and partying, he could have held “tincture parties,” in which everyone got to enjoy high-quality CBD together at his massive, thankfully Daisy-less mansion!
Animal Farm is one of George Orwell’s greatest literary works, severely critiquing the way in which Communism would ultimately fail the working class and establish an even stronger class of wealthy, powerful individuals. The novel follows a group of barnyard animals that take over their farm, demanding that the farm animals are all treated equally and aren’t subjected to the work that humans don’t want to do. Over time, it becomes clear that certain animals are taking control of the rest, and this culminates in a new, stronger ruling class appearing in the form of pigs.
The actions of the novel might have changed drastically if the animals’ motivations had been focused around something other than their social and economic oppression. Had their revolution been rooted in their collective love for CBD pet tinctures, greater equality might have been achieved after all! CBD pet tinctures are specifically designed with your furry friends in mind, offering virtually all animals the perfect opportunity to enjoy CBD hemp extract just as we do. If revolting would have resulted in all the animals procuring CBD pet tincture, they might not have turned on each other in the manner that they did. On the other hand, it might have led to even more severe clashes. Either way, it would be interesting to see the twist that CBD pet tincture put on this timeless classic!
No list of classic novels is complete without mentioning Moby Dick, in which Herman Melville poses the ultimate showdown between a man with a single leg, several shiphands with scurvy and a massive sperm whale. While a riveting tale that you should certainly read at least once in your lifetime, it really is a lopsided affair. I mean, are Ahab and the other fishermen really going to catch Melville’s version of Godzilla? To put it in modern terms, the clash between the two parties in this novel is akin to a boxing match between Mike Tyson in his prime and the Gerber Baby.
This entire conflict could have been avoided if Captain Ahab had access to CBD. Much of his anger toward the whale stems from the fact that Moby Dick took one of his legs, forcing him to use a wooden peg in order to walk. Having to limp around with a rotting, wooden leg must have left him with brutal discomfort each and every day. If he’d been able to get his hands on CBDfx hemp cream, this wouldn’t have been an issue! Our hemp cream contains a blend of supporting topical ingredients that works to address and reduce the daily discomfort that you feel. If Ahab had known about this incredible product, he may have never driven everyone to their inevitable deaths at the hands of a whale the size of a mountain range.
This classic Stephen King novel has been heavily revered by King’s fans and literary critics alike, and its impact on pop culture and the horror genre of entertainment is undeniable. Two films and a mini-series have adapted this novel, and while they were all positively received, none could quite capture the extent of horror that the book laid out for its readers. The novel follows several children as they battle Pennywise the Clown, an entity that has plagued the earth for centuries and is connected to every disastrous event in their town’s history. They fail to kill Pennywise initially, but return to their town and get the job done.
The only reason that they return to the town is because Mike, a member of the “Losers” club, has vowed to gather everyone as soon as Pennywise returns. If Mike had instead chosen to dedicate his time to advancing features of his own lifestyle and living a more fulfilling life, they might not have ever had to fight the clown a second time. He certainly would have taken this route if he had discovered CBDfx gummies earlier in his life. Our gummies contain an array of supporting ingredients that bring their own essential vitamins and minerals to the mix. Mike’s nights would have been much easier with our CBD gummies with melatonin, and he would have enjoyed a boost of nutrients and other goodies if he had our spirulina & turmeric gummies with him while he worked. Aside from the children and social outliers that would continue to die in the town, everyone comes out on top in this situation!
No, we’re not talking about the film that essentially kickstarted the horror film genre. Before it was about a great lumbering oaf that knew nothing but grunts and rage, Frankenstein followed the re-animation – and immediate abandonment – of a living being. While the monster may have started out as a bumbling behemoth, it quickly educated itself through a collection of books and his personal worldly experiences. He learns English by listening to a family in a cabin near his cave, and he very quickly becomes a more educated, verbose figure than many of the novel’s other characters.
What truly holds the monster back is his appearance. No matter how intelligent and civilized he becomes, his horrifying appearance is what ultimately holds him back. If he had the tools to smooth out his grotesque skin, his chances of being accepted would have been much greater. CBDfx face masks would have been the perfect product for him, their supporting topical ingredients providing the moisturization and protection necessary for healthy, glowing skin. The monster could have gone from “hellspawn” to “hunk” in no time at all, and the action of the novel would’ve been completely different!
These novels are classics for a number of reasons, primarily related to the underlying themes that they sought to tackle. However, literature’s true beauty is its mutability; stories can be whatever you want them to be, with a little help from your imagination. Consider some of your personal favorite novels, and imagine what the characters would be like if they’d had access to the premium CBD products found here at CBDfx!
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