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December 8, 2020

If You Want to Make More Friends Try This


Paaez Coleman

A woman looking at her laptop

If you want to make more friends, there are a few straightforward ways to go about it. 

Think about it like this. 

Before you understood the concept of a “friend,” chances are, you naturally gravitated towards a certain individual and acquired some type of bond. 

You had a “bestie” or a “broski” before you even thought about “how to make a friend,” with most genuine friendships starting with a shared interest, kind gesture, or good laugh. 

Furthermore, it’s imperative to understand the difference between an “associate” and a friend in your adult life. 

Some people have tons of friends, while some people like to keep a close few. 

Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, if you’ve been thinking about making more friends—the right kind of friends—here are three things you should try. 

Don’t Be Shy, Reach Out 

A group of guys hanging outOften, you may find yourself sitting at home and complaining no one calls or reaches out to you. 

But who says you have to wait for someone to reach out to you? If you want to make more friends, try taking a proactive approach, and reaching out. 

Have you ever heard the saying, “You get back what you put out?”

You have to put yourself out there and generate conversation. This is especially true if you’re getting older and trying to build a network of like-minded friends. 

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or extravagant. You can reach out to someone and ask if they want to grab a cup of coffee—or whatever else you both have an interest in. 

Some stray away from this option in fear of rejection, but don’t let negativity cloud something as simple as reaching out to form new bonds. 

If you’re naturally shy, don’t worry, it’s something you can work on over time. The main thing to understand is you have to keep trying to engage with people. It’s like anything else, the more you work at it, the better you become. 

Don’t overthink it, and you’ll see how much it helps. 

Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People

Two girls laying down covering each other's facesDid your parents ever preach the whole “association by association” bit to you when you were younger? If you didn’t get this “talk,” it’s just saying people associate you with the crowd you hang out with. 

Some of this carries over into adult life as it helps you associate yourself with like-minded individuals. You can achieve this by getting out of the house and going to places that interest you, and where you’ll meet people with similar interests. 

If you’re a writer, try going to book readings and writer’s conferences. If you’re into extreme sports, hit up the latest event. You see a pattern here? If you explore places that fit your niche, you’ll naturally meet the same types of people. 

In doing this, you build a network of long-lasting friendships. 

Be Your Authentic Self

Two people holding hands over coffeeHave you ever had a friendship with someone, but it called for you to be someone else? If you have, you know it wasn’t a real friendship because it lacked a genuine connection and authenticity. 

You have to be your authentic self—100%—no excuses.

If you skimp on this, you’ll end up with a bunch of fake friendships that don’t serve your wellbeing. A real friend who loves you for you will always respect your feelings and motivations in life.

People often feel they have to portray themselves in a way that makes other people happy, but when you do this, you’re only cheating yourself. 

Sometimes you have to take some time to learn and understand yourself, which is 100% acceptable. When you take the time to understand yourself and your likes and dislikes, you have an authentic sense of self to head into any relationship with. 

This is something we all learn as we make our way through life, but once you know yourself and love yourself, you’ll refuse to accept less from anyone else. 

It takes courage to stand up and be yourself in a world full of followers, but once you do, you’ll see it’s the only way.

Did You Know Friendships Have Health Benefits?

A man taking CBD from a tinctureMaking friends and being in social situations is hard for some people. Many are introverted and shy for an abundance of reasons, but nothing is set in stone.

Besides, did you know healthy friendships have a long list of health benefits like decreased stress levels, increased life span, a sense of belonging which boosts mental health, and lower blood pressure? 

If you think about it, our friends play a pivotal role in our lives

We call them when we need to vent, celebrate achievements with them, invite them over for taco night, and anything else under the sun you both enjoy. 

In light of our current global pandemic, isolation has increased, and people are isolated more than ever. If you’re trying to connect with people during this challenging time, try reaching out to people on social media. 

There are over 3.6 billion people on social media worldwide, so it’s a great way to reach and connect with people virtually while staying safe. 

Make sure to pay attention to the platform you’re on and which ones you connect with people on the most. This way, you know you’re putting your energy and intent in the right direction. 

Things To Keep in Mind 

Friendships come about in the most unexpected ways sometimes. Still, other times, we have to be a little more proactive in the ways we go about acquiring friendships. 

Most importantly, understand we have good friends who last a lifetime and friends who pass through certain seasons. The latter often helps us learn a lesson before making their transition out of our lives. 

Take these experiences and learn from them. Learn what it takes to form a bond, what a good friendship should entail, and be able to recognize relationships that don’t positively serve you. 

Now get out there (virtual or socially-distanced) and make some new friends! 

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