It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…Superman with a disposable vape pen? Here are ten heroes who most definitely use CBD on their days off!
By: Jacob La Cava
You know their names, buy their merch, watch their shows; superheroes are a mainstay of pop culture, appearing on everything from movies and television shows to cereal boxes and car dealership commercials. Sworn to protect the common man, these heroes symbolize a selflessness that we all hope to emulate in our own lives.
Still, even heroes need to take a moment to indulge in their own pleasures, which is where a nice batch of high-quality CBD products would come in handy. Here are 10 superheroes who most definitely use CBD products when they’re not fighting crime:
While we’re on the topic of Justice League characters, Aquaman is another superhero who almost certainly finds use for CBD products when he isn’t out fighting crime. Contrary to popular belief, Aquaman is not just a man in tight spandex who can talk to fish and refuses to eat sushi. In his initial comic book appearances, Arthur Curry’s father was an undersea explorer who found an ancient city submerged underwater that he believed to be Atlantis. He learned how to breathe and exist freely underwater, and he transferred this knowledge to Arthur, who would become Aquaman. In later instances, Arthur is the much more powerful ⎯ and much less silly ⎯ king of Atlantis, who is able to freely manipulate the sea creatures and water around him.
While Curry has no issues living on land, he has spent a large portion of his life in the water. His skin is used to a certain level of hydration as a result, which can’t be passively maintained on land. He would be plagued with dryness and potential irritation, which is why any products that offer moisturization would be ideal for him. He would likely use one of our CBD facemasks, which would both keep his skin moisturized and provide him with a floral fragrance that would help him forget about the ridicule he receives for being the “fish guy.”
With powers limited only by their imagination, the Green Lantern Corps is a group of guardians that watch over different portions of the universe, fighting evil wherever it manifests. There are countless members of the Green Lantern Corps, and there have been several Green Lanterns that have watched over Earth. For the sake of this piece, the one we will focus on is Hal Jordan. Hal is one of the classic renditions of the character, and while he might not be Earth’s first Green Lantern representative, he is one of its greatest defenders. Using nothing but his vast imagination, he can use a special Green Lantern ring to create virtually anything to aid him in his fights against evil.
A crucial characteristic for any good Green Lantern member is to maintain positive emotions. Lanterns who are moody and can’t control their emotions often fail, so Hal would need something on his off days to keep his quality of life in top shape. He would love our vape kit and one of our many delicious vape juice flavors. The fruity flavoring of the vape juice would ease his mind, and it might even help to get his imaginative juices flowing. In fact, he might even use his vape kit while fighting bad guys.
Tony Stark is one of the most well-known superheroes to ever come out of Marvel, propelled to the forefront by the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Known for his flashy appearance and cocky attitude, Stark is proof that humans don’t need to be mutated in any way to become superheroes; they simply need motivation. Well, that and money, I guess. While he has been beaten in the past, his unrelenting spirit almost always leads him and his companions to victory. Along with Captain America and others, Stark helped bring the Avengers to prominence, as well as other groups such as the Illuminati that swore to protect the Earth from any and all calamities.
Something that comic book fans might know is that Stark is a known drinker. The man can put back an Old Fashioned like its water, and his drinking has actually been used as a central plot point in comic storylines. His preferred drink, therefore, would likely be a CBD-infused drink, such as our CBD Chill Shots. These drinks would provide him with an alternative to the alcoholic beverages that he needs to avoid in order to keep his abilities sharp. Plus, the bottles are stylish and fit the flair that Stark brings to every aspect of his life.
The Incredible Hulk
Bruce Banner and the Hulk have a very interesting relationship. At times, the two seem to be able to coincide fairly well, working toward the same goals and exhibiting a strong understanding of one another. Other times, the two are entirely at odds, fighting to take control of Banner’s body and not wanting to negotiate with each other. Through it all, the Hulk remains one of the strongest characters in the entire Marvel universe. Only two things truly seem to best him: the infinity gauntlet and movie adaptations.
As a result of his constant transformations into the Hulk, Banner would likely remain in a nearly constant state of hunger. After all, it takes a lot of energy to leap over buildings and crush cars with your bare hands. CBD gummies would be the perfect treat, both satisfying some of Banner’s hunger and also providing him with some daily CBD. Additionally, since he and the Hulk might have their own preferences, Banner could buy some Original Gummies for himself and Turmeric & Spirulina Gummies for the Hulk. The green appearance of the turmeric & spirulina gummies would mirror the green skin of the Hulk, which we believe the not-so-jolly green giant would appreciate.
Similar to the Green Lantern, the actual identity of the Flash has changed over the years. Several different characters have donned the red and yellow tights and taken on the persona of DC’s most famous speedster, so for the sake of this blog post, we will be focusing on Barry Allen. Barry got his powers after a freak accident caused an array of chemicals to fall on him, giving him super speed and lightning-quick reflexes. He uses these newfound powers to protect his city from the evil doings of criminals such as Gorilla Grodd, a human-like gorilla, and Captain Boomerang, who is unfortunately NOT a human-like boomerang.
Barry’s whole schtick is his speed, so if he were to use any CBD products, they would have to be ones that were highly time-efficient and effective. Even in his off-time, he wouldn’t want to consume anything such as a gummy that might take longer than he deems necessary to deliver CBD to his bloodstream. For this reason, Barry would love CBD tinctures, which are dropped under the tongue for nearly instant bioavailability. The CBD tincture oil is absorbed through the sublingual capillaries, which quickly sends it into the bloodstream. Fast and effective, Barry would find this product to be ideal. He would especially enjoy our Lychee Lemon Kiwi Tincture because of its sleek red packaging!
Howard the Duck
One of the lesser known heroes of the Marvel Universe, Howard the Duck is an anthropomorphic bird whose crude language and existentialist approach to the world around him guides his comical misadventures. Sadly, all of the humor and charm of the comics didn’t translate over into Howard’s big screen debut, leaving him in an awkward position. His personality sets him along the lines of other meta-heroes in Marvel’s stable, such as Squirrel Girl and the ever-popular Deadpool, and his adventures usually led him to confront the many cliches of multiple book and movie genres.
A major component of Howard’s appearance was his cigarette. With the outfit and world outlook of a short-tempered private detective, he would puff his way through any given adventure. When he isn’t out fighting evildoers and saving the day, he’s likely at home, watching old Humphrey Bogart detective films and other films that wouldn’t be safe to show in the comics. He would almost certainly be enjoying a CBD vape pen while watching these films, giving him a lighter option compared to a cigarette. The sweet flavors of our disposable vape pens would be a nice contrast to what he’s used to, and their auto-draw systems would leave him with one less responsibility while enjoying his day off.
The Dark Night is arguably the most recognizable superhero in the world. Whether you were a fan of the original comics or just love the Christopher Nolan film trilogy, the caped crusader is a hero completely unrivaled. The godfather of antiheroes, Batman’s loyalty to Gotham and fervor for crime-fighting have persisted through the decades of his existence. While he isn’t the warmest character that DC has ever created ⎯ he once created contingency plans for how he would incapacitate all of his fellow Justice League companions ⎯ he is certainly one of the most intimidating, and much like Tony Stark, he represents a type of superhero that must make up for his lack of superpowers through sheer willpower and determination.
A little-known fact about Batman: his guilty pleasure is aromatherapy. After a night full of fighting thugs, clowns and giant human-reptile hybrids, he enjoys coming home to his mansion and soaking in a tub full of bath salts while Alfred sings renditions of TLC’s greatest hits. He can’t quite hit the high notes, but Batman finds something endearing about that. To give his baths a bit of an extra kick, he likely uses our CBDfx Tranquil Bath Salts, which combine the soothing effects of premier bath salts with a helping of high-quality CBD. Barring the sudden return of his parents, there could be no better way for Batman to end his day!
Speaking of superheroes that aren’t the warm and fuzzy archetypes that you normally see, Wolverine has more or less remained the same cynical, angry Canadian throughout his character’s existence. As a primary member of the X-Men, he fights to protects the mutants of the Marvel Universe, and although he might not be the best equipped to lead the fight against X-Men arch enemy Magneto ⎯ whose magnetic abilities perfectly counter Wolverine’s metal claws and skeleton ⎯ his rage and desire to save his friends drives him toward victory.
One of Wolverine’s main mutations is super-healing, which allows him to regenerate whole limbs if necessary at an extremely quick pace. While everything regenerates, that doesn’t mean he can’t feel the dismemberment that he is subjected to. That kind of physical abuse likely still leads to some lasting discomfort, which he would need to address on days where he wasn’t fighting bad guys. In these instances, some CBD hemp cream would be ideal for him, offering a collection of supporting topical ingredients designed to both moisturize your skin and provide deeper relief.
The Iron Giant
While not a traditional superhero, the Iron Giant’s actions in the face of certain doom are synonymous with those of the comic book heroes of old. Plus Brad Bird created him, and since Brad Bird is so closely connected to Disney, which owns Marvel, you could even claim that he’s a part of the MCU. Originally designed to be a weapon of mass destruction for use during the Cold War of the 1950s, the Iron Giant is raised to emulate golden age comic book characters, Superman in particular. By defying his programming and saving Hogarth’s town from a nuclear missile, the great metal behemoth deserves to have his name in the superhero ranks.
Even before blowing himself to smithereens and saving the town, he was tasked with being a hero and friend to Hogarth, the child who initially found him, and Dean, a junkyard owner and incredibly so-so artist. Between crushing cars into art for Dean and turning himself into a living Disneyland ride for Hogarth, he probably suffers from at least minor discomfort. You might be thinking, “Well, he’s a robot, so he couldn’t have discomfort.” That’s exactly what the Ruskies that built him wanted you to think. In order to address this discomfort, he likely uses our CBD Overnight Recovery Balm, which he could apply and allow to work throughout the night while Hogarth is sleeping at home.
In a list full of characters who could at times be considered anti-heroes, the Noid takes the cake, truly embracing the title. Unlike the others, the Noid wasn’t born out of any comic book lines, but rather came to life as a mascot for Domino’s pizza in 1986. While his hijinks often resulted in the misfortune of pizza boys the world over, he garnered support from those who watched his commercials and became a cult icon. Plus, his drive to destroy pizzas was fueled by his vision of a healthier, happier future, so was he really ever actually a bad guy? We’d like to think not.
While his determination to enforce healthier eating habits may have been courageous, the Noid seemed to be a bit too obsessed with it. He appeared erratic and wired when on the prowl for unsuspecting pizza boys, and his “Wile E Coyote” level of energy likely makes it difficult for him to settle down for the night. Therefore, he would likely use CBD melatonin gummies before calling it a night, which would allow him to both get his daily CBD and a helping of sleep-aiding melatonin.
These are 10 superheroes who we believe are definitely CBD aficionados in their free time. Of course, you don’t need superpowers in order to use these products; come check out our full selection of tinctures, gummies and more. We’re certain that we have the perfect product for you!